As most people who know me know, I am pretty politically opinionated. My opinion is that I don’t like politics (or generally politicians). Now there is this big hoopla over the Republican primaries. Who will be the next Republican candidate!??!?!?!?! Easy answer ‘Who cares’. Notice the lack of punctuation indicative of a question. Because that was a statement. The more in-depth answer is ‘If it’s not Ron Paul, than it doesn’t even matter.’ I could keep going but I don’t want you get a stomach ache while I list off the reasons this primary is a complete and utter crapfest. Yes, Crapfest. Ok maybe I’ll throw out a few reasons.

First of all lets take a trip back to ’08. Obama was going to save the world… ..or something. Bring our troops home, magically give everyone free healthcare and a pony. In fact some people are still buying this crap. I’ve got this eccentric friend, lets call him John. Ok well that’s actually his name. He’s a fun guy. He was a hardcore Obama supporter, his car was plastered with those peace sign Obama bumper stickers. John would talk about how Obama was going to end the wars and bring our troops home. Now he’s reportedly justifying Obama’s continued aggression in the middle east. You know things like lets say deliberately targeting and blowing the crap out a 16 year old US citizen and his friends with a drone strike.

OK so now republicans want Obama out. Not because he’s busy spreading the teenage body parts all over the Mideast, but because he’s a democrat who is doing [insert some excuse here].

Well that’s what the media would have you think. In fact, republicans and democrats and the rest of America don’t even approve of what Government on all levels is doing… Dissatisfied with the crime and violence created by the war on drugs, constant attacks on liberties at home, rising tax rates, gov corruption ect….

So.. Republicans get together and its looking like they are going to choose Romney as their candidate? WTF? Romney? Really? Why?! Oh wait because he can beat Obama.. right and save the economy and bring world peace blah blah blah.

So lets just look here for a minute. Bush did a bad job, so lets replace him with Obama. Oh well blow me down, Obama’s policies are exactly like and on the same course as the Bush administration (global domination, stripping of liberties at home,hookers and blow… ok i added that last part, but you never know Obama might like that too) only Obama’s a lot better looking.  So lets elect Romney because he is… EXACTLY LIKE OBAMA! Do you really think this absurd path of electing clones is going to do anything to make this world a better place?

Anyway are you guys going to play this Left, Right, Left, Right game? Because they are just marching people along. It’s not like people don’t know it. Reporters outside the polling stations constantly heard “I wanted to vote for Ron Paul but I voted for Mitt because he can beat Obama” ah please, who cares… Might as well vote for him because he thinks his dog likes fresh air.

Ah jeeze don’t even get me started on Santorum. Currently second place?! This guy wants to fine and jail people who watch porn! I mean make it a priority of the administration. Well there goes my Friday night.. This guy is a lunatic who wants apply via the force of government his twisted moral principals to your life. People shouldn’t be allowed to marry who they want? (Romney says the same thing) Last I checked I don’t need a permit to love someone, so get your government out of my personal life. Thats right gov should have no say about my wife and I  or my gay cousin and his husband. Man these politicians.. I mean for hetero’s they sure act like a bag of dicks. What kind of brainwashed people vote for this guy? if your one of them, please tell me what you like about a man who wants to use government to get into everyone’s personal life?! Ah and he calls himself pro life, yet brags about how wonderful is would be to assassinate scientists and American citizens.

Anyway this is why I love Ron Paul. He respects the individual and peace.

Ah now I’ve done it. Go about your life, oh and come to a show!

-josh

The Original Fat Lady

Years ago I bought a brand new guitar off the rack at a place south of Boston in Brockton (Boston Guitar Works). The guitar was fantastic. I had researched the exact guitar I wanted and after quite a while finally settled on a Cole Clark Fat Lady. Every recording I heard of one had sounded great. Nice clear mid range, clean high end, crisp low end with great definition and clarity. It seemed miles ahead of anything in its price range. My suspicions were confirmed when I pulled it off its wall hanger at the guitar shop. However getting to this guitar shop and getting the guitar there was a bit of a hassle. At the time these guitars were very hard to find in the US (they are made in Australia), and years later its not like your going to trip over one walking down the street. I swapped emails and phone calls with reps from the company for weeks before they shipped 3 of them to this shop for me to try out. They all sounded fantastic. I left my wallet at home on purpose. I didn’t want to make a rash decision. Seems silly when I think back about it since it was a 3 hour round trip the guitar shop. When I went back to buy the Fat Lady the next day, the shop owner tried to tag another $250 onto the price he also told me the case was not included and that would be another $150. Needless to say I was a bit pissed he was trying to pull one over on me. After telling me several times the case was not included, I pointed to the label on the case that said “Cole Clark” and had written on it the Reps name from the company and serial number for the guitar. He quietly conceded. I showed him our emails about the pricing and he finally sold it to me after quite a bit of haggling for the original price we agreed upon, case included.

The guitar was fantastic! It played like a dream and it sounded unlike any acoustic guitar I’ve ever hear when it was plugged in. The electronics are just leaps and bounds past most everything on the market. It sounded like someone threw nice condenser mic right in front of it. I played that guitar hard and it wore its pick marks, and job related nicks and scratches with pride. While it wasn’t beat up, you could tell it had been played, gigged and loved. Still sounded fantastic. I would play shows and sound engineers and musicians would constantly want to know what I was playing. So full bodied plugged in, it had to be something worth checking out. For a gigging musician the weight of the guitar is fantastic, you can play a Cole Clark Fat Lady all night, those guitars are so light. They weigh nothing, yet sound so full!

My original fat lady stunning audiences. Wasn't she darling?

After owning it for about 2 and a half years it started to develop a body buzz. I called Cole Clark and they said they would cover any repairs needed. After visiting several Luthiers in the region, I found no one wanted to mess with it due to its unique bracing design and whatnot. Some couldn’t hear the buzz, but I sure could. Especially apparent on recordings. It was really sad. I swear I almost cried. I was playing a gig in Colorado and while there I had a Luthier I knew in the area take a good look at her for me. We isolated the area of the buzz. When I got back home I made a camera rig and took all sorts of photos of the inside and sent them Cole Clark. The president of the company got ahold of me. He had offered to replace my guitar with a brand new one. Even after 2.5 years. Wow. Now this was a heavy decision to make. I spent lots of time picking this specific instrument, comparing, contrasting, playing, scratching my head, asking my girlfriend questions she was not qualified to answer… I thought about this guitar in my sleep. I mean you don’t just get an acoustic guitar without playing it, shipped in mail and all. You just don’t do that. I procrastinated for a while and the buzz got worse. It turns out it was a bad glue joint on a metal rail they mount a transducer pickup on inside the guitar. Its nearly impossible to fix without wrecking the guitar. So I bit the bullet. Ah fuck it, I made the call and the new guitar was shipped to Canada from Australia, then to New York, then to me. I opened it up and I had already made up my mind before I touched it. ‘It wasn’t the same’ my mind told me! The guitar looked great, well not as nice as mine, but it looked great. The wood had some unique patterns and the finish was great (save one small mysterious scratch) I felt sorta bad since the one I was shipping back was kinda beat up. I loved that guitar. I played the new Fat Lady for a while and was a little disappointed for some reason. While it sounded FANTASTIC it just lacked some of the character of my original guitar. I missed that guitar, buzz and all. But at least I could record with this one, and record I did and it sounded amazing. Im still playing that same guitar they sent me everyday and I love it.  I’d buy another Cole Clark in a minute. I wouldn’t trade it for a Taylor nor a Martin.

The New Fat Lady, seemingly every bit as good as her predecessor.

But that old fat lady. She was amazing. I often wonder what she’s up to these days. I only hope she found someone else to appreciate her for what she is. I can still feel her low end vibrating through my bones. So unique, so fat, so much love.

It started when we were little kids.
Free spirits, but already tormented by our own hands
given to us by our parents.
We got together and wrote on desks
and slept in laundry rooms near snowy mountains
and slipped through whatever cracks we could find,
minds altered, we didn’t falter
in portraving hysterical and tragic characters in a smog filled universe.
we loved the dirty city
and the journeys away from it.
We had not yet been or seen our friends, selves,
chase tails round and round in downward spirals,
leaving trail of irretrievable, vital life juice behind.
Still, the brothersbloodcomradespartnerfamilycuzz was impenetrable
and we lived inside it
laughing with no clothes, and everything experimental ’till death was upon us.
In our face, mortality.
And lots of things seemed futile then, but love and music can save us,
and did, while the giant grey monster grew
more poisoned and volatile around us,
jaws clamping down and spewing ugly shit around.
Nothing is the same.
So we keep moving.
We keep moving.

Dondante

The Federal Crime has been invited to Keene, NH to perform @ the Keene Music Festivals main stage this year. It will be the 12th annual KMF. I’ve got to tell you, we are pretty stoked. The KMF is a solid well put together event, it treats all the artists great and provides the whole festival free to the public. You are going to see some of the best local and regional artists in the… well in the region. Hard rock to folk you can probably get your fix here.

*photo credit: some unrelated music festival

The FC will be performing on the festivals main stage at Rail Road square. Show time is 11:30am. It sounds early, but it just in time to grab a burrito right next door come outside and have lunch while you shake your thang! See the shows page for map and details.

(link) For those of you who dont know The Porcupine Freedom Festival is quite possibly the largest liberty oriented event in the world.  It takes place in New Hampshire annually and features some fantastic guest speakers, musicians, and a free market bazaar! As you might suspect Josh is a big fan of liberty, and porcfest has taken notice. This year Porcfest runs from June 20th through the 26th.

The Federal Crime will be rocking the stage at Porcfest on Sat June 25th around 2 O clock. We are honored to be playing at the worlds premier liberty oriented event. Looking forward to a fun time. I mean with events taking place like Buzz’s BIGGER Gay Dance Party, the food, the music, the friendship opportunities and the fun you have plenty of reasons to come to the Porcupine Freedom Festival this year, so why not head to www.porcfest.com and sign up?

The FC @ Free Keene Fest!

We had a great time yesterday at the Keene Freedom Fest. The weather was bright and sunny but with some threatening rain at times. Sunshine prevailed though. When we arrived we found that power was not turned on at the square. A nice guy named Kurt was kind enough to donate his generator and gasoline to run it so we could plug in the PA and play. It worked perfect and was not too loud. We played for about two hours and were well received.

The KFF had a lot of different vendors, foods, dogs, families with dancing kids, and people just having fun. We picked up some homemade beef jerky, some home made jams and couple other things as well. Keene is a great town and we allways have a good time when we play there! See you at the Keene Music Festival in September?

Hey everyone! Welcome to the new FC site! Take a look around there’s still a bit more to do and updates will come. As well as regular posts here on the home page.

We’ve got a few shows coming so check the shows page!

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